Honor: 82 [ Give / Take ]
23 entries this month
when I die I want to transition into part of a nebula...
01:46 Dec 30 2010
Times Read: 938
hydrogen, helium, dust, it's all good. When I'm dead I'll be dust anyway right? Maybe I'll score a fortune someday and I can pay to have my remains rocketed into the Omega nebula, or the Eagle nebula. I find staring at the Pillars of Creation very soothing.
I had no intentions of logging on to vr before the start of 2011. I feel the need to blaaaaaargh (blogish venting) and lack the privacy to do it elsewhere.
I'm going slightly crazy. The xmas holiday sucked for me. I don't recommend spending it entirely alone. I feel like I have a better understanding of why the mortality rate of the solitary person is higher during this time of year. I don't see it as worse than any other time of year from a personal standpoint, but once again society has created a monster. So much emphasis is placed on spending time with family during xmas, that it really almost alieniates people who can't.
It was really hard to bury myself in my work this year. I was surrounded by people spouting off their holiday cheer, and plans with their loved ones. Good for them. It didn't bother me until people started asking what my plans were. I know they all had good intentions, but it still seemed like having lemon juice squirted in your eye... repeatedly. I soon grew tired of constantly responding with 'My plans are to work a 13 hour shift on xmas', 'no my family won't miss me', 'no I don't have anyone here', 'everyone I spend time with is not in CO'. It gets old fast. It sucked. But it's over now. On with the future.
In a sleep deprived, over worked, overly emotional state I managed to piss off someone close to me. My only saving grace is that someone else made a much bigger ass out of their self, and eclipsed my minor breakdown. I almost want to send them a thank you note for acting like a big enough douche to save my ass.
I'm stressed to the max with work stuff. EoM always sucks, but I have year end breathing down my neck as well. Not to mention the NYE shit storm that always ensues. I'm not looking forward to babysitting 2,000 drunk people.
I have a self assessment to complete, that my pay increase for 2011 (or lack there of) depends on, documentation to scan and file in perperation of a city tax audit, a promotional account to audit for the accounting department, I have to verify and correct srew ups that my employees have missed this month on another promo account, and I have to load a years worth of rates into the computer system. No biggie right? Did I mention I have 8 work hours to do all of this in, in addition to my other daily tasks? I think I'll be sneaking in on Thursday (my night off) after the department holiday party to go balls to the walls on all of this shit.
I've only had 3 hours of sleep today. I need to try to take a nap again soon. I couldn't focus at work last night. I think it was a combination of the 17 hour shift I had put in the night before, and the stress of one of my friends from work being in the hospital. I had a hard time keeping my espresso down while I was waiting to hear the results of her spinal tap. I had urged her to go to the ER two days prior, but she was being stubborn and waiting until her day off... crazy bitch. If it had been muscular, or a nerve problem I might have been able to help. I could tell when I rested my hand on her spine without applying pressure she needed medical attenion. I've never seen someone in that much uninstigated pain before. It was really scary. Luckily her meningitis is viral and not bacterial. I'm slightly relieved now that she had medicine, but I'll stop worrying when she's back to normal.
Ok.. that's plenty of purging from me. I have to try and nap again before work tonight. Fun schtuff. I'll catch you all in 2011. I'm sure I won't be on vr again before then.
Have a happy and SAFE new year. Party responsibly!
15:20 Dec 25 2010
Times Read: 976
I'm going to fuck off for a while.
PRIVATE ENTRY
15:19 Dec 25 2010
Times Read: 977
• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •
11:02 Dec 25 2010
Times Read: 985
In 15 minutes, I'll have 5 hours down and 8 more to go. That almost halfway through the shift right?
I'm drinking 2 shots of espresso mixed with hot chocolate and french vanilla and hazelnut creamer. I'm eating fresh fruit, and a bag of sodium in the form of beef jerky. I don't think my meal was well planned out. *shrugs*
I can do this. I just have to locate my lost motivation... wherever it went. It's self assessment time for me. I picked the wrong day for this. Maybe I'll process tax exemptions, or reward redemptions, or promotional accounts audit. Better yet, how about I pay one of you schmoes $10 to do my self assessment for me? Anyone out there know how to blow enough smoke to get me a raise, but not so much that I look like an egotistical asshole?
Anyway back to the grind. Work doesn't do itself no matter how much I procrastinate.
My earlier journal was purely informational. I have no complaints about my life. I've seen people close to me endure much harsher traumas than I have. It was purely informational to help those who have to deal with my flaws understand the source of them.
I wish you all love, happiness, and inner peace my friends.
♥
PRIVATE ENTRY
23:39 Dec 24 2010
Times Read: 1,011
• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •
Nice
22:17 Dec 24 2010
Times Read: 1,018
Don't mind me.
I'm just going crazy.
That is all.
Know what I'm sayin'?
19:02 Dec 24 2010
Times Read: 1,027
So, why mow the lawn when no one is playing in the yard O_o?
I have a parrot on my shoulder!14:48 Dec 23 2010
Times Read: 1,048
Oh wait it's just my pussy.
All of the gifts mom sent me are shoved under the tree. I don't think I have to wait to open them except for the big one she marked 'from santa'. She said she wanted to make sure I had something to open on xmas.
My sister got some expensive jewelry for xmas from her beau. Well they way it went is, she went out and bought it herself, and gave him the option of paying her back and calling it xmas. Hahaha whatever works. He jumped on the easy out. No shopping for him.
I should get the box from my sister today, I'll add that to the pile. I'm not sure when I'll tear into them. I'm a bit pissed that WC hasn't received his package yet. I paid $30 to have that damn thing sent priority, and it was supposed to get there Tuesday or Wednesday. Note to self: next time add tracking, it's well worth it. At least I insured it. Hopefully insurance covers disappearing boxes. =/ I wouldn't be so stressed about it if he had actually received the letter I sent him 2 or 3 weeks ago.
I'm sitting here nibbling a snickerdoodle, sipping a hot chocolate, french vanilla cappuccino concoction I made. The only thing that would make it better would be to snuggle with my love (and the monsters) next to a blazing fire place, watching our favorite movies.
Id be lying if I didn't admidt that long distance relationships suck ass. It's horrible pining for someone all of the time. I have little desire to eat. I hope that by forcing lots of water in me it'll keep my stomach from eating itself. It seems to be working so far.
The kitten that I'm the most allergic to is the one who loves me the most. She rubbed on my face last week, and I broke out into instant hives. I don't think she understands when I push her away after about 10 minutes of affection it's not her fault. She always comes back for more though. Maybe she'll learn to be a loving lap cat, and less of a parrot. After she grows out of that crazy kitten phase of course.
Thank You WildChild!!!!00:49 Dec 23 2010
Times Read: 1,069
OMF YUUUUUM!
We sent me hazelnut pancake/waffle mix, and a bottle of Oregon marrion berry syrup. It is the BEST syrup I've ever had.
Thank you, thank you sender of deliciousness!
I was also able to snap a pic of the cats not being assholes for once. When they're good I adore them. When they're bad... I yell at them and tell them they're the reason that people abandon animals. I tell them to knock their shit off before they end up homeless. (I don't really mean it.)
Alright, I'm going to run upstairs throw the ham in the oven, and open the 23 lb box my mom sent me. w00t!!!
20:09 Dec 21 2010
Times Read: 1,084
Spaghetti. Fucking. Sammiches.
Hells to the yes.
11:56 Dec 21 2010
Times Read: 1,101
The back is hurting again today.
My supervisor is refusing to work Christmas morning because his girlfriend is in possession of his balls, and not actually him.
Did I mention his girlfriend is our employee? Yeah, so everyone at work knows what a pussy he is when it comes to his woman. I was hoping to be off by 9 am christmas morning, and come back earlier in the evening like about 7pm. Instead I'm stuck working until noon. Joy. Adding hours to the end of overnights seems to suck more then adding them to the beginning.
I need to clean, and rearrange more stuff. Go to the grocery store and get carpet shampoo. I used the last of if up the other day when fatass puked all over the place 6 different times. He finally yaked up a hairball while I was at work last night. I got the joy of stepping on that barefoot in the dark.
On a plus side, I got some firewood, and a ham. I'm going to get taters, veggies, and maybe sweet potatoes later today too. I'm thinking about picking up a prime rib. Mmmm beef. I'd never last as a 'veggie peeps' as I call them.
I snuck out on the roof tonight and watched the lunar eclipse. Lunar eclipse on a solstice. I won't see that again. Had circumstances of my life gone differently I'm sure I would have actually been celebrating somewhere instead.
Alright, back to work with my lazy ass. Back pain makes me not motivated at all.
omf full belly
18:04 Dec 19 2010
Times Read: 1,120
German sausage, saurkraut, buttered bread.
Mmmmm it was good.
Kittens are pigs, they ate the kraut I dropped on the floor before I could bend down and clean it up. O_o wtf?
I have successfully consumed 3 liters of water in the last 16 hours. I'm still not sure how I feel about this. Check back with me later to see if my bladder gave out, and I wet myself in my sleep.
Goodnight peeps!
effin tard20:33 Dec 18 2010
Times Read: 1,140
I can't take anymore of these a-holes.
I'm going to bed. Lord knows what I'll find when I get up tonight.
proof they're monsters20:22 Dec 18 2010
Times Read: 1,143
Just see for yourself.
Peanuts
More Peanuts
Monster In Tree
Fatass Eating Tree
And then as if they're not BAD ENOUGH! I left to go to the post office to mail gifts for my mom, sister, and WC. While I was gone they took my cookies I brought home from work out of my purse... CHEWED THROUGH THE PLASTIC and ate them! They didn't just eat them, or just eat one or two. No, they partially ate every single one. Did I mention that I fed them.. RIGHT BEFORE I LEFT! WTF!??? Little butt licking furry ass terrors. -.- I don't have cats. I have imps disguised as cats.
Anyway I have to go. I need to go to sleep still, and it seems fatass got his head stuck in the handle of a paper sack. I have to chase his stupid ass down and rip off the piece of paper sack he's now wearing. =/ I should have named him rainman.
*sigh*
-.- fuck-ing-cats
16:17 Dec 18 2010
Times Read: 1,158
They got into the packing peanuts when I was sleeping yesterday. They are all over the damn place. From the laundry room to the kitchen to the bathroom, and everywhere in between. I'm half tempted to hog tie the cats, rub a blanket on them so they're statically charged and use their butts to hoover up the peanuts.
Did I mention that one of them barfed while I was gone last night? In three different places. I'm sure it was ding or dong. Fatass would have left a much bigger pile of yak for me.
Speaking of fatass... he's taken to chewing on the xmas tree. I can't bring myself to plug in the lights cause his stupid fat butt would fry himself like that damn cat on National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. I think he chews it because he's mad that he's too fat to climb it like the twins do. Or maybe he's really trying to eat it.
Who knows?
10:28 Dec 16 2010
Times Read: 1,175
Too much drinking. Too little sleep. Too many hours spent @ work, and on work related things.
I miss WC. I didn't get to see him today, or talk to him for very long. That makes me sad. =( maybe later today I can talk to him more.
Now to catch up on long overdue much needed sleep.
03:09 Dec 12 2010
Times Read: 1,189
another baby is born still
tonight I light a candle, and mourn silently for someone so very close to my heart
who wanted nothing more desperately than to be a mother
I love you my friend.
-.-
11:17 Dec 11 2010
Times Read: 1,208
One of my mothers bosses appears to be quite the douchebag. He wrote a very unprofessional letter belittling his staff, and distributed it to them.
I may not act professional outside of work, but at work I'm held to different expectations. Funny how different things can be when there's a paycheck involved.
I think I'll see what their corporate office has to say about this douchebag and his letter.
I hope he loses his fuckin' job.
*le sigh*
00:55 Dec 10 2010
Times Read: 1,233
It is one of lifes strangest cruelities, to have you hearts deepest desires granted while you sleep...
..only to have it all ripped away from you when you wake.
omg
16:56 Dec 06 2010
Times Read: 1,256
I'm in love with a storm trooper.
O_o
conflicted
03:55 Dec 06 2010
Times Read: 1,265
I sometimes wish I knew the proper thought process for figuring things out.
22:12 Dec 05 2010
Times Read: 1,276
I was here and you were not.
Now you are here, and I am not.
Better luck next time.
PRIVATE ENTRY
22:07 Dec 05 2010
Times Read: 1,277
• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •
COMMENTS
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MooniePie
01:48 Dec 30 2010
-big hugs- I adore you, hun. =]
Raina
03:14 Dec 30 2010
Please be safe and take care of yourself. *hugs*
Mystic
03:45 Dec 30 2010
Hugs ! and more hugs and gigantic hugs and oh ya did I forget hugs. yes you are adored, and had I been able to I gladly would have come and spent Christmas with you and we could have gotten silly drunk and watched your demon cats, do crazy things lol